Thursday, May 23, 2013

Want To Sleep Tonight? Don't Google Image Yourself

Hi guys! I'm Tami and I blog over at Friday Morning Buzz. While Miss Jaime is living it up in Vegas, I'm taking over her blog to teach you a thing or two about the scary place we all know and love--the interwebz.

You've never really felt true horror until you've typed your name into the Google search bar and clicked 'Image'. Seriously, mayne. My results:

Not me. (unfortunately)

Also not me.
Most definitely not me.
Since y'all don't know me, here's a snapshot of what I actually look like. Where is this gem in the Google Image results? Nowhere to be found.

I promise I'm not ACTUALLY a ghost. Just prone to looking like one in pictures.
But what is truly horrifying is not the disturbing number of pictures that aren't me. It's the images that are either totally me and totally hideous, or pictures I've never seen of people I know through minor acquaintance or circumstance. Exhibit A:

This dude? A local cop where I live that got arrested for harassment. I briefly covered his court case for work a couple months ago. Hey there Google, whatcha doin'? Would you mind not associating me with homeboy for all the internet to see?

This chick? I semi-knew her through our jobs in Colorado. Have we ever taken a picture together or even posted on each other's Facebook? Not that I know of...

My march madness bracket. Uh, wtf? I don't even remember posting this online, but sure enough here it is, in all its jacked up glory. 

And the funniest of all--

Is that Helene? Shakin her booty? What. the. heck?

I guess what I'm getting at is the internet is a crazypants place. All someone has to know is your name and they can find ten year old pictures of you, pictures of people you're remotely associated with, pictures of anything you've clicked on in the last 564 months, oh and your address. Yeah, mine and my mom's. Hi!

Can we do anything about it? At this point, I'm gonna go with no. Every site you sign up for pretty much whores out your information like a Vegas pimp, and you have to give at least your mailing address and phone number when you order something online. I guess all we can do is be aware that pictures like this beauty are out there, and can be found very, very easily.

Wake up, sunshine!
Have you ever google imaged yourself? What kind of weird stuff did you find? If you'd like, you can read more of my random ramblings by heading over here. Also link up your Thursday Thoughts posts below!

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  1. you better believe I'm doing this and pretty sure I'll find some photos of Jessica Biel tryin to be me :)

  2. HAH i just searched myself and the top results: myself, the girl who also has my name, a woman with a dolphin, and a priest. Sounds like a bad joke haha!

  3. When I do this, a lot of my blog photos come up (and they're my face!), BUT a girl from college who I don't get along with comes up, too. haha the horror!

  4. hahahaha OMG!! what?! I am literally dying. and yes, that is me.