Monday, March 25, 2013

Spring Breakers Movie Review

What did Chris and I do this weekend? Well, let's see...we went and saw a couple movies; one of which was Spring Breakers.
The previews for this movie made it appear to run the same lines as the movie Savages with Blake Lively.

Chris and I thought, "what the heck, let's go see a couple movies on Saturday and Spring Breaker's looks pretty good." Little did we know.

All the reviews for this movie said that it was James Franco's best performance yet and that the Disney girls have "gone wild."  Let's just say only one of those are true.

In order for you to understand the disappointment and resentment in spending a whopping $6.75 for a ticket, I will summarize the entire movie for you.

1. Starts with about 15 minutes of spring break "girls gone wild" footage. Ladies, if you have a significant other, you will spend the duration of the movie resisting the impulse to cover his eyes.

2. Four trashy girls decide to rob a restaurant for money for spring break. Then, because of the "artistic" direction of the movie, everything that was said was repeated throughout the movie.

3. Drugs, alcohol, nudity, and cursing were the focal point of this movie. Between that and Vanessa Hudgens hair screaming to get her roots touched up, there wasn't much more for you to focus on.

4. They spend their money on scooters, so when they get arrested, they have no money for bail. Scooters?! Disney much?

5. Creepy drug dealer (James Franco) bails them out, sends Selena Gomez home, gets pink haired girl shot, and screws Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson in a pool...together...for five minutes.

6. In retaliation to pink haired girl getting shot, Vanessa, Ashley, and James go on a killing spree of the opposing drug dealer. James is shot by the first guy they see. Ashley and Vanessa then continue on killing all 25 people at the house each using a pistol. I mean, I'm no gun expert but I'm pretty sure they didn't have enough bullets for that...but what do I know.

7. If this wasn't enough, the entire movie consisted of snip-its of "girls gone wild" footage, James Franco saying "Spring break forever", and weird lighting clips that would only be acceptable if you were high or drunk while watching.

Why am I telling you all of this? We had people walk out of the theater. We stayed because we had paid to see it. If you were even considering going to watch this movie, DON'T! I'm just trying to save you the money, time, and water bill you will incur from trying to clean yourselves from the disgust you will pick up from watching it.

Hope this helps you make an informed decision prior to spending the money at the theaters.

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  1. Oh gosh definitely not going to see it!!! I was unsure of how it really was from the trailer but now I know that is something I definitely wouldn't want to watch. Sounds awful!

  2. From the trailer, Sam and I were thinking of going. Now I know that I wont be sitting though this. Thanks for warding me off from a stinker! xx

  3. So I'm glad I read this! I was seriously considering seeing it because I thought it sounded like Savages too and I loved that movie! I'll have to redbox it with a free code bc I am sort of curious still ;) Thanks for linking up!

  4. I love you for posting this. I secretly love Selena Gomez because she's such a Disney staple and OK...I loved Ramona and Beezus. I had a feeling this would be trashy, so I was disappointed that she signed on to do it. Sorry you wasted your money, but think of it this way- you did a public service by warning all of us not to do the same. :)

  5. woah woah- I didn't have intentions of seeing it but yuck!!!

  6. I definitely had a feeling the movie would turn out to be a movie trying to be artistic and edgy, but really just skeevy and lowbrow as you had said it would. Thanks for reassuring me!